“Get a silk bag from the graveyard duck to live longer” - Castlevania 2 NES

As much as I love classic games, I sometimes wonder, if anyone ever proofread the translation in any of the games. There was so little text in many of the games; I cannot fathom how the publishers would not have at least dedicated some time to edit the translated text.

There are two prime examples of this that I can remember from playing the NES during my childhood. Metal Gear and Castlevania 2: Simons Quest. Even at 5 years old I knew the dialog made little sense.

Metal Gear was relatively the better of the two in the grammatical sense. I can only remember four errors in the dialog

The Guards saying: “I feel asleep"
Snake stating: “Uh – oh! The truck have started to move!”
And two of Big Boss's radio messages:
“First, attempt to contact missing our “Grey Fox,” then try to find the Metal Gear.”
“Now, locate the Grey Fox’s hidden cells, check the way! Over.”

Castlevania 2’s dialog made little or no sense. The game was very open ended and one of the few was to actually progress in the game without a strategy guide was to talk to Transylvanian villages whose English was obviously not their first language.

One clue a villager gave really stuck in my head:
“Get a silk bag from the graveyard duck to live longer”

I’ve always read this has if I needed to get a Silk Bag from a graveyard duck in order to live longer. But alas, there is no duck in Simons Quest, but there is a graveyard with a silk bag in it. That only leaves one explanation, the clue should read:

“Get a silk bag from the graveyard.” AND “Duck to live longer”

The second half of the clue should be interpreted as “Crouch to progress further.” This makes a reference to a part where you much crouch with a crystal to reveal a secret staircase to one of the many mansions in the game.

Then there’s always the “You now prossess Dracula’s rib.” Simons Quest doesn’t just have the wrong tense. It flat out just has the wrong words.

Speaking of errors:

I love the NES power glove… It's so bad

NES Power Glove is so hard to come by around here at eStarland. The second we get it in stock, it sells out. I’ve always wondered what people do with them. Do they keep it as a collectible item? Do they actually PLAY with something this bulky, uncomfortable and impossible to program? Or do they just want to be as awesome as this guy:

I’ve never understood why they sold out so quickly. Can you really experience ULTRA video game action-adventure with the power glove as it states in the box? Do “ultrasonic sensors” send wavy light ways to my TV to make game images move as my hand moves as it shows on the box?

I guess it doesn’t. But these questions where answered when I saw Shaun Phase from Temp Sound Solutions play live with a Power Glove on:

Then it hit me, the NES and its culture isn’t just in our memories. It’s all around us. There’s a huge community that embraces the old NES days and celebrate it. And I ask you, what do you think of the Power Glove? What do you use it for?